A JOURNEY TO NOWHERE

I sat down on the bench in the neighborhood playground squashed between my lost past and my mere future. I tilted my head from left to right. My left was these high school students that were burying their heads into their Biology workbooks. Then to my right there was this couple rushing their son to go back home as their dinner break was over. Chills ran down my spine. Is that what was and will become of me?
I just don’t get it. When I was young , innocent and gullible , every single soul I met told me to follow my dreams.....reach for the stars.....be a role model...go for your passion and etc. But where does all this go when you are graduating high school? It’s been hard enough to cut up frogs and bombarding the calculator with numbers for the last one and a half years of my life. When can I just do what I want? Do what I am so interested about? When I pluck up my courage and face them with my questions, they all sigh and told me the million dollar answer. They blame it on an abstract aspect called society. Tears roll down my cheeks leaving a trail as I thought about this.
Society ... it’s just as evil as stealing a sweet from a crying child. How long am I going to fight this losing battle? How am I going to make people realize that it’s not about the money but about the passion? How long can I survive? How am I going to do all this in just 10 solid months?
It’s so tiring trying to be among the best all the time. Trying to shine out and getting praises from people. Just when you want to give up and be normal, faces of your folks flashes in your mind. It’s like having to eat a bitter pastry in front of the crowd. You can’t spit it nor swallow it. But living with guilt and regret your whole life is not something to be proud of either, right?
Whatever is it...? I will just live my life following the flow. Regrets of my past have moulded me into a stronger person. And let the mysteries of the future uncoil it and hopefully lay a path filled with roses and probably hidden thorns for me.
As it is, I will not look back at my past filled with anger, disappointment, failure, frustration and most importantly regret. I will learn to accept things as it is and try to enjoy the beauty within it .Nor will I give up my passion.
SMILE...AND THE WORLD SMILES BACK AT YOU!!